A surprisingly challenging decision for me to make: to show a video message for our Christmas services at Grace Church. Here’s the life lesson that I learned through it.
Thursday, Dec. 12 was my second day of radiation treatment. I came to church for our Thursday night service from my afternoon radiation zap and felt pretty awful. I laid down and rested. I prayed and asked God for help. The service starts, and the music plays. My heart and mind are all-in. The adrenaline and Holy Spirit kick in. It was a really fun night. I stayed late and talked to a bunch of people.
I walked out to the parking lot and realized that once again I was one of the very last people to leave. I love what I do. I could feel that I had dug into my spiritual, emotional and physical reserves. I was way drained. Driving home, I knew that wasn’t wise. I need to have strength to heal and get through treatment. I could do it, but should I do it?
I’m in the middle of 21 days of radiation treatment to conquer cancer. If you look over the big story of my life, this is a season for a couple of months for rest and healing. If I prioritize my health and healing, it will be wise and a win for the long haul. If I don’t it'd be foolish and short sighted.
The biggest drain and take (by far) is speaking. I love it. Speaking a message on stage at Grace Church isn’t like teaching a math lesson. You put your heart, soul, and spirit into it 100%. You care deeply. You feel what people feel - the pain, the indecision, the fear, the joy, the passion, and the hope.
As I was driving home, what came to my mind was a parallel to my hunting dogs. Every October, there are articles written about proactively taking care of your dog for pheasant opener in South Dakota. Why? Every year that there’s a warm opening day, 60-80 dogs will die across the state of South Dakota. The hunting dogs are hardwired to chase after birds. Nothing gives them greater pleasure. They’re driven, loyal and passionate. If you don’t give them water and rest, they will literally run themselves to death. They don't have an off button..
I realize that when you put me in a service speaking and connecting with people, I have no off button. I will go and go. I will dig deep and take all my reserves. I love it. Nothing gives me more joy than doing what I was created to do.
So the challenge for me was to decide not to speak live at our six Christmas services. I want to be the pastor that’s down to earth and relatable. I love Christmas. I love what I do. The step of faith and obedience was for me to lay down my preference (and maybe my pride) for God’s wisdom. To trust God that He’s going to work powerfully in our services. To trust that people won’t misinterpret my not speaking live. To trust that new people won’t write us off because the pastor wasn’t up there.
By God’s grace, I’m going to get healthy for years of serving God and Grace Church. There’s a time and a season for everything under heaven, says Ecclesiastes. Sometimes you build up. Sometimes you tear down. Sometimes you dig deep. Sometimes you rest. Both take faith.
How does this principle apply to you? What is challenging for you? What season are you in? Trust and go for it. You’ll grow and be better for it.