Grateful TO ___ FOR ___

I woke up this morning with the phrase “grateful TO… FOR…” in my head.

We often think about what we’re grateful FOR, but we think less about who are grateful TO. It’s implied or assumed. Or we haven’t considered it. Gratitude is sometimes seen as a warm fuzzy feeling inside that’s vague.

To be a truly grateful person, you need clarity on what I am grateful FOR and who I am grateful TO. Then you need to communicate TO that person what you are grateful FOR.

Here are just a few things that I am grateful FOR and who I am grateful TO.

I am grateful TO God FOR my family.

I am grateful TO God FOR my health.

I am grateful TO God FOR his blessings over Grace Church.

I am grateful TO God FOR brining Lydia into Kendrick Jr.’s life. They are engaged. Woot.

I am grateful TO Nana FOR her support and love over the last year during my health fiasco.

I am grateful TO my doctors (Dr. Choi, Dr. Hawes, Dr. Lust) FOR excellent healthcare.

I am grateful TO God FOR an amazing team at Grace Church.

I am grateful TO God FOR our home and beautiful country living.

I am grateful TO God FOR deep rich relationships. Many people come to mind.

I’m going to talk to God today. He’s the ultimate source of every good and perfect gift. I’m going to make some phone calls and send some texts. I want to communicate my gratitude TO___ FOR___.

A year ago today I found I had cancer.

A year ago today (Oct. 8. 2019) I found that I had cancer. I’ve been reflecting much of the day on the past year. The overwhelming feeling in my heart is… THANK YOU! 

I’m deeply grateful for the incredible outpouring of love and support: the kind words, the notes, the texts, the prayers, the practical help, and the thoughtful gifts. It’s been by far the most challenging year of my life. I say this hesitantly, but I think I got a glimpse of what it means to suffer. I’ve embraced my weakness and mortality. 

There would be far too many people to thank by name, but I will mention my #1 supporter, Nana. She has been incredible. Her grace, strength and love have been unwavering. It’s such a privilege to do life with her. There’s no one with whom I’d rather go through the valley of the shadow of death.

I am most grateful to God. I’ve experienced God being near, His love and His strength more than ever in my life. My hope and my confidence is in God alone. He gets all the credit for the good that has happened and the grace to walk through it all. 

So from the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU! 

No Mass. "Nearly Complete Resolution"!!!

I am stunned. I am humbled. I’m overwhelming grateful and giving thanks.

Yesterday, I had a PET scan. Did a video appointment with the hematologist from Duke today to get the results. I was hoping and praying that I’d be making progress in knocking down the activity of the cancerous growth in my neck.

The growth had been resistant to radiation. Had decreased slightly in activity from 29 to 24. I’ve completed 8 of 16 weeks of chemotherapy. So this was a check up to see if we’re making progress or not.

Result? NO MASS in the neck. Not there. Activity? Nearly complete resolution. Slightly above blood pool. Meaning it’s slightly more active than normal blood. I asked what number? NONE.

WOW! WOW! Thank you, Jesus. I am so very grateful. Honestly, far beyond what I expected.

I’ll do two more rounds (8 more weeks) of chemotherapy. But now it’s the slam dunk victory lap. The PET scan showed no cancer in the body. Woohoo!!

The next big miracle will be getting the nerves in my feet to heal and full strength back. But today, I celebrate and honor God.

That's Why You Came to Mayo

It’s a powerful experience when you tap into your God-given gift and live it out passionately serving people. 

I was on the receiving end recently. Nana and I traveled to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN and had an appointment on July 28. Without going into all the details medically, the hematologist was incredibly kind, thorough, and an expert in his field. We had a great connect. He gave me his cell number and told me to call him any time that I have a question. 

Since returning home, he has called FOUR TIMES on my cell to follow-up. He was exploring to find out if I have POEMS syndrome (thank God I don’t). He wanted to run it by a their leading expert who was out of town. He asked for original biopsy slides to be sent so they could review (wrong ones had originally been sent). He asked me about my treatment and my feet. I was absolutely blown away. 

At the end of one of the conversations, I said, “Doctor —, your expertise and thoroughness and care blow me away. You have absolutely been over the top. Gone way above and beyond what would be expected. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can’t tell you how meaningful this is to me.” 

He responded, “That’s why you came to Mayo.” He explained that this is what we do. I guess that’s how they became rated the #1 healthcare system in the world. 

My mind exploded. That’s why you came to Grace Church. That’s why you came to my home. That’s why you came to _______ fill in the blank with your sphere. 

What a passion to serve. What a perspective on excellence and really putting people first. 

If Mayo Clinic can do it for such a noble cause, how much more as servants of Jesus can we be His ambassadors. 

That’s why you came to Jesus! 

Hitting the Pause Button

Had to hit the pause button on chemo this week. I went in on Tuesday for my IV chemo treatment. My white blood count was very low. No treatment and back home I went.

I was supposed to take this week (#4) off from the daily chemo pill (21 days on and 7 days off), so I get a week to rest and restore. Hopefully my white blood count rebounds quickly.

Obviously, I’m being extra extra careful to not get sick. The treatment has been going quite well. My body adjusted to the IV chemo, and I’ve been getting better at managing the evening nausea after the chemo pill.

Thanks for all the love, prayer and support. I am deeply grateful.

Good News and Good Progress

Got some good news yesterday. Heard from Mayo Clinic that they do not think I have POEMS syndrome. Long story, but it’s a rare blood disease that could have been explanation for what is going on with the nerves in my feet. I didn’t want to have POEMS. So thank you, Jesus. Also means potentially taking a less aggressive approach after the 16 weeks of chemo. 

Good progress. My body has received the IV chemo this week much better than the first day. I’m managing nausea, meds, and energy as best I can. Good sleep is challenging. Feel very grateful to God that things are going as well as they are. Not an easy process, but taking it one day a time.

I’m trying to do a light workout 3 or 4 times per week. It’s felt so good when I can. We setup a home workout area. Even if the gyms do open in NC, I really shouldn’t be in them through the end of the year. I did catch one of the Sunday services on the elliptical, but I had already heard the message. 


Day 1 of Chemo: Five Specific Prayers for Healing

Today is day 1 of 112 days to health and healing (some people call it chemotherapy). We’re off and running. We’re coming for you, tumor. You gonna die.

If you’d like join Nana and me in prayer, there are five specific wins (in order).

1) Every cancer cell killed. May every cancer cell in my body be killed over the next 16 weeks.

2) Feet healed. Immune system reset and calm. Nerves and function completely restored.

3) Neck stable. Vertebra strong as tumor dies. Bone begin to heal completely. No surgery needed.

4) No long-term damage. No lingering issues from the chemo.

5) Minimal side effects during treatment. Treatment targets growth. Able to work, exercise, and enjoy God/people.

Day 1 was a bit rough. New drug for body caused little freakout. Nausea, vomiting, hives, and tight throat. Just needed a good welcome to the chemo club. They have a drug for anything. Haha. Sounds like it’s fairly common for day 1. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow. Been here for 10 1/2 hours and ready go to home.

Thank you so very much the love and prayer. We will win.

Day 1 of chemotherapy. August 4, 2020.

Day 1 of chemotherapy. August 4, 2020.

We have a plan! Let's roll. Round 2.

Just finished my appointment at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. They are excellent. Respected for good reason. 

Short version: we’re going to go with the plan for 16 weeks of chemotherapy proposed by Duke. The only caveat is wait and see on following the chemo with the big guns: high dose chemo and stem cell therapy. Starting the week of August 3. 

They are running a bunch of tests to see if they can diagnose the neurological problem with my feet. They have a theory. I’ll be curious to see what they conclude. Either way, the current course of action is helpful. 

Funny story. We’re driving down to Mayo Clinic from the Twin Cities. You’re thinking, “wow, what a privilege to be seen by the #1 rated healthcare system in the country.” Ready or not, here we come. We get off the highway and are coming into the downtown area. First stop light. There’s a fairly large building on the side of the road. Big sign: “Rochester Cremation Services.” WHAT??? Are you serious? That’s a bit disheartening. I think they need to work on first impressions. At least we got a good laugh. 

I feel great about the plan. I know that we need to attack and kill the tumor. Top priority. It’s encouraging that Duke, UNC and Mayo are in agreement about how to do that. Ultimately, we don’t trust in medicine, but trust in God who enables great doctors and has blessed us with medicine. I’ll add in healthy eating and exercise. God will win the day.

Thanks so much for the love and support.  

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Second Opinions

I’m getting two second opinions before I move forward with the plan that the hematologist from Duke has proposed.

This first was from UNC this past week. I really enjoyed the doctor. Short version: He likes the plan of the three drugs proposed for chemotherapy (four rounds for a total of 16 weeks). His opinion was to hold on the high dose chemotherapy and stem cell therapy.

If you’re curious (as I didn’t know any of this previously). Stem cell therapy is when they take stem cells out of your blood (like dialysis for your kidney). Take blood out, extract stem cells and put blood back in. Then they zap you with a very high dose of chemotherapy. It kills all of your bone marrow (and cancer cells). Your blood counts basically drop to zero. The next day they put your stem cells back in and you rebuild your bone marrow and blood counts come back over the next 2-3 weeks. Don’t get sick then.

I’ll be traveling to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN for a second opinion on July 28. Then hopefully we’ll come up with a plan. Praying for wisdom and peace from God.

"How is Kendrick?"

Today I am wrapping up day 2 of round 2 of IVIG (see photo below). Two days of spending six hours in a chair at the Duke Speciality Infusion Center. The goal of the IVIG is to calm my immune system down so that my feet can heal. The swelling in my ankles goes down immediately. Amazing. I just need it to stick so that the nerves heal.

Re: the cancer in my neck. I met with the hematologist at Duke. He’s proposing 16 weeks of chemotherapy (three drugs). Penciled in to start on Aug. 3. Then high dose chemo with stem cell transplant. Pretty sobering and not my idea of fun.

My growth (solitary plasmacytoma) responds in 95% of the cases to radiation treatment. The radiation treatment knocked it down 25% in activity, but it didn’t shrink nor grow. So that’s why we’re on to chemo. I hate the idea of blasting my system into oblivion in order to get one spot. But we have to kill it. It’s in a “high value real estate location.” We don’t want it to spread and turn into multiple myeloma.

I will get a second option at UNC (July 21) and Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN (July 28). The hematologist at Duke said, “I think it’s a good idea to get a second opinion from Mayo.” I almost burst out laughing. He didn’t mention UNC. haha. I think they work so closely together and probably know the protocols.

How am I doing? At first I was sad. It hit me for a few days. I don’t want to do chemo. I tired of not being able to walk well. I could go on and on. I think I needed to grieve. Then you lift up your gaze to God. He is our hope. He is our strength. I know that His plan is good. His timing is perfect. Even though I don’t like the circumstance, I can lean into God and trust Him.

As always, I’m so grateful for the love, support, and prayers. Pray for peace and wisdom to know what step(s) to take next. HEALING in Jesus. One way or another, we will win.

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PET Scan results are in. Disappointing!

I had a PET scan today. Disappointing but expected news.

It’s been 5 1/2 months since I completed radiation therapy. The radiation therapy is generally very effective for treating my type of cancer (solitary plasmacytoma). It was supposed to be the definitive treatment. One and done. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. 

I had an MRI three months ago. It indicated that the tumor had not shrunk nor grown and was suspected to be active. The PET scan confirmed that today. The growth is 25% less active. In the photo, the left is today and the right is from October 2019. The rest of my body remains clear. My blood is completely clean. 

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Although that is the news I expected to hear, it’s still super disappointing. Having gone through 21 days of radiation to find out that it didn’t help significantly is tough news. I love beating the odds. Honestly on this one, I had the odds in my favor and lost. 

Next week, I’ll meet with the hematologist, and he’ll present a plan. Up to this point, it’s been pretty straight forward standard procedure. Now it’s bit more interesting. I’ll dive in and do some research and will most likely get a second option. 

One cool thing: during the PET scan today, the second song on Pandora radio was Cornerstone! (Background story here) It really touched my heart knowing that God is near. We will win. 

So appreciate the love, prayer and support. 

We Need Help by Nana Vinar

We Need Help by Nana Vinar

Part of getting help is finding an accurate definition for the problem. Diagnosing. That’s a large part of what medical doctors do: they work to discover what the issue is before they offer treatment.

Do you have the virus? Well, check some website and it will tell you how to define it and what to look for. This is helping sick people know how to get help.

In Scripture, God talks about fear and worry and anxiety. These are commonplace in our hearts, so He addresses them as sins, ways of thinking that lack faith in who God is. God longs for us to see Him more accurately! When you worry about our uncertain times, you are coddling the idea that God may not be powerful enough to help.

You would not admit aloud that God is not powerful or capable or all-knowing or loving, but you allow worry to reside in your thinking. You play a teeny tiny “what-if” game in your mind. You sense the nervousness in the grocery store from the other shoppers who don’t know if they have IT or if you have IT or if IT’s in the air.

The fear itself is contagious unless you recognize it and fight it.

If you want to get relief from this weight of worry, you must define it correctly and see what Scripture advises. If you call your worry “concern” then you cannot seek freedom from it. You have labeled your sin as something commonly occurring and therefore you accept it and condone it as normal.

Consider this: sin is commonly occurring. But it does not need to be doing damage in your heart.

God loves to take our fear and worry and anxiety away. He knows we encounter them! And He is the solution, the remedy, the treatment.

Beautiful photos and uplifting ideas can try to ease some of our discomfort, but only God can lift the burden of fear. Our Bible reading for today is Philemon. Verse 6 says that we should realize that every good thing that is in Jesus is in you, my paraphrase. Can you believe that?

Jesus offers you faith in place of fear, peace in place of anxiety. That dull ache in your stomach? If you can define it accurately as anxiety, you can be free from it.

I Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” Give Him the worry, the fear, the anxiety that you can recognize and let it go on Him. Throw it to him. Don’t keep any tiny bit for later. He cares. If the God of the universe cares for you, you’re in His hand!

Anxiety has no place if your heart if your heart is aware that He’s holding you. Feed that truth, the awareness that He is holding you.

We need a quarantine diet of focusing on God’s character so that the temptation to fear cannot take root in our hearts. Focus on who He is: He is in control, He is caring, He is capable. This grows your faith. It is strenuous work. It is the fight of faith!

Each day I have purposed to thank/pray during this stay-at-home season. I’m thanking God for His gifts of people and beauty and time—because my heart needs to remember that He is the giver of all good things.

I’m giving God every faith-less thought, every concern, every weight—because this communion with Him restores my soul and keeps my heart connected to His.

Not Great News. Not Bad News

I had a MRI this week. Met with the radiation oncologist doctor to review the results.

Short version: Not great news. Not bad news. The tumor didn’t shrink and didn’t grow. We were hoping that it’d shrink and disappear.

The potential good scenario is that the growth hardened, and it is keeping the C6 vertebra stable. You can see how the tumor grew from the inside out and cracked the vertebra.

Next up: PET scan in three months (end of June). That will tell if the growth is still malignant or not. I’ll also be meeting with the hematologist this month to do a blood check.

I was supposed to start IVIG treatment for my feet on March 16. Long story.

I got a call one business day before I was supposed to start telling me that I had been denied by Blue Cross Blue Shield.

I was shocked! I had waited weeks and then received a phone call scheduling the IVIG. Of course, I assumed that it had been approved. 
The person at Duke said that this is not unusual. They are submitting more information to BCBS. They’ll setup a peer to peer.

I’ve now called this unnamed person at Duke six times over the past three weeks without getting one phone call returned. I couldn’t be more kind in my tone. Although that is starting to change.

I found out yesterday that instead of having my neurologist who ordered the IVIG do the peer to peer with BCBS, unnamed person had a nurse practitioner in South Durham (whom I’ve never met) do it.

I was denied a second time.

The people in neurology are amazing. They’re picking up the ball again. Making a third request and setting up a peer to peer with my neurologist this time.

So FRUSTRATING. It’s been almost seven weeks since the IVIG was ordered.

I’d really like to get my balance and function in my feet back. I know nothing is certain, but I’d like to give it my best shot.

So please pray. Need a small miracle here. That’s the long update.

Trusting that God is good. Working at applying my recent messages to my life. Uncertain times we are in!

Nana's Bells

There is a church in Hillsborough that plays bells at 9:00 a.m., 12:00 p.m., 3:00 p.m., and 6:00 p.m. every day. Nana absolutely loves the bells. The bells are played to famous hymns. Nana will stop whatever she’s doing and go sit outside and enjoy the bells for a few minutes. The bells have become a restorative and life-giving ritual in Nana’s life.

Nana wrote the poem below. It’s inspiring to me to find similar ways to experience God in daily life.

CHURCH BELLS by Nana Vinar

Church bells from a distance, clanging and yet beautiful, some days subtle and some days sharp and clear. In the years we’ve lived on Fairmont, mostly in the summers when I was gardening mid-day, I’d stop my stooping and start to smile, recognizing the old, old tunes of faith being rung out over Orange County, perhaps the most secular county in this southern state. 

May Your Kingdom come here, Lord! When they don’t suspect. May Your goodness catch them off-guard and bring them in like “bringing in the sheaves.”

The bells ring four times every day, and often I’m occupied or distracted when they come. But then I know they’ll come again. Several evenings when it was chilly, we’d put coats on and sit on the deck to wait for the bells. It’s like they signified the end of the workday, and now we make dinner and enjoy talking together and then rest. But when we’d sit outside waiting, there were sometimes too many competing sounds: the HVAC, an outdoor motor, nearby cars, the Hillsborough train, the neighbor’s chainsaw, or even the wind. So we would try again another day.

 “Bells!” is what Amelia and I say now when one of us hears them. She’ll text me from the barn and I’ll hustle outside to catch the last part. They only play one line from each song, but sometimes that’s enough for me to hum that tune all day. Words of faith rising in my heart, spread all over this town, calling to us to rise up! Faith is what matters most. It’s what’s eternal. No matter what I’m dwelling on at the moment, the bells bring my focus to God, to His divine plan, to His sovereignty over all things, to His love for each of us.

The bells keep time for me each day if I’m outside working. That’s when I hear them most. They’re comforting and dependable and faith-inspiring, like garden dirt. I consider that they may sound like noise to anyone who doesn’t know the tunes, and mere songs to those who don’t know the words. I’m grateful for having learned these hymns way back in my childhood. I had no idea they’d mean so much more to me now.

Four times per day I have an audible invitation to stop what I’m doing and rest. To wash my hands and get out of the kitchen, to sit on the patio and close my eyes and breathe. To drink in God’s presence in the tunes of faith. “Faith of our fathers, holy faith!" To shift my perspective from mundane to eternal. This is a gift. And if you’re at my house at 9, noon, 3 or 6, I may invite you to enjoy the bells with us.

Health Update

I’ve been in waiting mode since the radiation treatment ended on January 10. I have regained my strength which is awesome. They changed the date of the MRI which will be on March 30 to assess how the radiation did in attacking the growth. If my neck is any indication, then we should be good.

As the radiation treatment ended, I realized that I was losing the hair on my neck and under my chin. We’re over 8 weeks out from treatment and the hair still hasn’t grown back yet. Powerful stuff.

The Challenge

The function of my feet and legs has been the big concern, and the focus of my energy. I walk pretty well with my AFO’s (leg braces) on. Without them it’s pathetic. I don’t have my balance (can’t stand straight up without bending my knees to catch myself). I can barely move my toes. I’ve been going to the physical therapist and doing hundreds of exercises every day. I have improved ever so slightly. It’s been the toughest mental battle of the journey.

The Treatment Plan

My neurologist ordered three rounds of IVIG (Intravenous immunoglobulin). It’s very expensive. It took over two weeks but insurance did approve it! Thank you, Lord. IVIG is an IV bag which contains, as my neurologist explains, “a cocktail of proteins.” Each batch has been produced from 1,000 - 15,000 donors. It’s basically an immune system replacement. I start on Monday, March 16.

The Prayer

The hope (and prayer) is that whatever has been causing problems in my feet will stop, allowing the nerves to heal and full function to be restored to my feet. Really appreciate your prayers and support.

We’re doing a week-long family vacation for the first time in 5 1/2 years. Can’t wait to spend time with the family. Then back for treatment on March 16. God’s got this. I will get my balance and strength back. I will golf again.

Ring that Bell: More Than Conquered!

Radiation Treatment is done! #21 is complete. Woohoo!! Feels so great to have that behind me.

I didn’t know that mentally it’d feel like such a big deal. I’ve been working hard to survive the beatdown of radiation. Now I can focus on healing, strength and moving forward.

It’s been the toughest season of our lives. Really really tough. I’ll just leave it at that.

By God’s grace, we haven’t just survived, we’ve conquered. We’ve actually more than conquered. When I found out that I had cancer, I declared Five Ways That I Will Fight.

So to give God’s grace credit, I declare…

I have not been afraid.
I have not asked “why” or “why me?”
I have not put my life on hold.
I have gotten stronger and better.
I have gotten closer to God.

I don’t have a list of all the things that I’ve learned through this season. I’m sure those things will become clear over time. God has been near. I know that I’ve changed and gotten stronger internally/spiritually.

THANK YOU to everyone for all the incredible love and support. The outpouring of encouragement and kindness has been a daily strength. Nana and I are grateful. Part of “more than conquering” has been connection and love. We’ve been on the receiving end. Humbling and helpful.

Next up? The radiation treatment will continue to work for the next two weeks. The tumor will continue to shrink for 2-3 months. I won’t get results from the treatment until April 6 when they will do a MRI. My plan is to rest as much as necessary to get back to full strength as quickly as possible. I have appointment next week with the neurologist and physical therapist to assess my feet.

Three big prayers. 1) Every cancer cell killed. 2) Healing of spine - no surgery. 3) Restoration of the function of my feet.

My left foot is improving in mobility and somewhat strength. Yay! The right foot is the bad one and may be improving ever slow slightly. I want to run again. I need to golf. Lord, heal those nerves. Restore the function of my feet!

Crossover Day!

I’ve lived 19,368 days. I’ve been married 9,684 days. I was single for 9,684 days. Exactly half my life single and half my life married.

I’m calling it Crossover Day. Maybe it’ll become a thing.

It’s hard to believe as I can hardly remember my single days. I can’ t imagine life without Nana. She’s the greatest gift to me here on planet earth.

She’s seen me at my very worst yet always loves, cares, believes, forgives, and respects me. Her faith in me and love for me have transformed my life. She strengthens me. She is the person with the greatest influence in my life. I trust her heart and perspective completely.

A few life lessons that I’ve learned from 9,684 days of married life.

1) Second most important decision that you’ll ever make.

Most important you’ll ever make is how you’ll answer Jesus simple call to “Follow Me.”

If you get married, the second most important decision you’ll make in your life is who you marry. Nothing will bring you greater joy and happiness. Nothing will bring you greater pain and heartache. You can endure a lot of challenges circumstantially if you’re walking closely with your life partner.

You can have every material possession and marital pain will overshadow it all.

If you marry well, you’ll have someone there to pick you up.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. (Eccl. 4:9-10)

Not that being married is better than being single. The apostle Paul said the opposite. But let me just say: choose wisely. Listen to those around you who love. Know that God has someone amazing for you. Don’t settle. 

Like spirits attract. Don’t focus on finding the right person, focus on becoming the right person. The right person will show up. You’ll know it as well as everyone around you.

2) Believe the best.

Marriage can be tough some days. There are misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Walls go up.

At that moment, you have a choice. There’s a voice in your head that will be accusing your spouse. “She doesn’t really love you.” Or “he’s a selfish, hurtful jerk.”

You can either believe the negative accusing voice or choose to believe the best. Don’t take it personally, because most of the time it isn't. Something bigger is going on. He/she really does love you.

Side step the personal arrows that are being thrown. Be the first to forgive. Be the first to take responsibility and ask for forgiveness.

Do it quickly. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. It lodges in your heart and turns into bitterness. It colors everything you hear and experience the next day. It’s a lot easier dealing with it sooner than later. Keep no record of wrongs.

3) Be proactive.

The best defense is a good offense. Sow good things into your relationship when all is good. A little bit done each day adds up to a lot over time.

When it comes time to make a withdrawal from your relational account, you’ve got a lot of trust stored up. You’ve got a lot of positive interactions.

How do you sow good things into your marriage? Learn the love language of your spouse and speak their language (not yours). If you haven’t learned Gary Chapman’s five love languages, then put that on your list. Learn them pronto. Learn what fills your spouse’s heart and speak his/her primary two love languages. It will change your marriage.

4) Love and Respect.

Only thing more important than the five love languages is love and respect. Emerson Eggerichs wrote my absolute favorite marriage book entitled Love and Respect.

The big idea comes out of Ephesians chapter 5. A woman’s greatest need is love. A man’s greatest need is respect. It’s not right or wrong. It’s just different.

Truly understanding how this plays out in your marriage is massive.

Almost every one of your fights can be traced back to this concept. I promise. Get it and your marriage will be transformed. I’ve seen it happen over and over and over.

5) Never Give Up.

Keep fighting for your relationship. Keep forgiving. Keep getting back up. Keep believing the best. Of course, I’d qualify these statements in cases of abuse. But I’m speaking faith and encouragement to the vast majority of marriages.

Never give up on the marriage you want. Don’t settle for mediocre. Things can get better. You can grow. Your marriage can get stronger and better.

It’s worth it. The best is yet to come. I’m looking forward to the next 9,684 days with Nana.

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Homestretch: Three Big Prayers!

16 down and 5 to go! I have my last five radiation treatments this week (M-F). If you hear a shout outside the Duke Cancer Center around 3:00 p.m. on Friday that will probably be me. Or if you hear the bell ringing in the radiation oncology floor (a tradition for patients who finish their treatment).

The doctor said that the radiation will continue to work for another two weeks. The tumor will continue to shrink for another 2-3 months. They won’t do an assessment (CT scan) to know the effectiveness of the treatment until after that 2-3 month timeframe.

There are THREE big prayers that I’d so appreciate you joining me in praying.

1) Every cancer cell killed. Kill the bad guys. Protect and restore the good guys.

2) Healing and restoration of spine. No surgery needed. The growth was in the C6 vertebra and ate part of my spine in my neck. The prayer is for the spine to grow back and no surgery needed.

3) Full healing and function of feet. My immune system attacked the nerves in my feet. There is very small and slow progress there. Now with the cancer killed, I am really praying and believing for my feet to come back to full function and strength. I want to run again. I need to golf again. :-)

So appreciate your love and support in the process. #WeWillWin #MADESTRONG

If God Answered Your Prayer

If God answered the prayer that you’ve been praying most recently, what would happen? Like what is the prayer that you’ve been talking to God about the most often, most passionately? That was the challenging question that came to me recently from Luke chapter 1.

I am starting the Grace Church MADE STRONG 2020 Bible reading plan. We’re reading the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs together over a year. It’s a little more than a chapter per day. I’m really pumped about doing this together. Growing and sharing what we’re learning with each other. Please feel free to join in on the journey. It’s going to be life-transforming.

January 2 is Luke chapter 1. An angel appears to Zechariah (the father of John the Baptist) and says, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard.” (Luke 1:13) Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth had been praying for a baby. God answered. You’ll have a son and name him John.

I stopped my reading. A question came to my mind, “If God answered your prayer, Kendrick, what would happen?” What am I really praying about? What am I really believing for? What am I asking God for?

Jesus taught us to pray and never give up. Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened. But it’s easy to slip into just doing it myself and not really asking, seeking and knocking.

It took me a minute. I prayed and thought about it. What would I love God to do in 2020? If God answered my prayer, what would happen? It got crystal clear in my heart. I came up with three things. They’re in my journal. They’re personal. I’m going to be asking, seeking, and knocking.

You can guess #1. Healing. But what I wrote down in my notebook was “Healed to serve.” Why I want to be completely healed and healthy is to serve. Not to have fun or to be served. But to serve those around me. To give my life away in loving, serving, and honoring God.

If God answered your prayer, what would happen? As we transition into the New Year, it’s a great time to get really clear. Then ask, seek, and knock. God loves to glorify Himself by answering your persistent faith-filled prayer. You are loved.

Half Way There!

11 down and 10 to go! I’ve crossed over the half way mark on my radiation treatments. Feels great to be making progress. I think they’re picking up the pace on quantity of radiation too. I’m definitely feeling the effects on my throat. It’s getting tough to swallow without some numbing medication before a meal. I am resting and grateful for time to take it easy and heal.

I had so much fun on Christmas Eve bringing gifts to my amazing team. See picture below. Jake, Jennie and Erin have been awesome. Always so positive and encouraging. Jennie has Hillsong Worship playing in the room when I arrive. I call them Team Kill Cancer.

One more update: Nana’s broken bones continue to heal slowly but surely. It’s going to be a long and slow process for her. She still can’t chew and is only eating soft food. The wounded warriors are fighting and healing together. Thanks for all the love, prayer and support.