“Recharging Your Batteries” by Nana Vinar
My phone battery has some sort of problem. When I charge it overnight, it’s happy until about 2pm, and then it’s unpredictable. It will say 40%, I’ll make one phone call, and now it’s at 2%. And just like that, I’m searching for a place to charge my phone.
Yesterday I felt strangely depleted. It was afternoon, and I felt far more tired than I thought I should after having a good night’s sleep the night before. It was a deep sloggy feeling of being on empty—a feeling that makes this Type A gal chafe. I thought through all the ordinary variables: eating good food, check; not feeling sick, check; plenty of caffeine, check; fresh air and exercise time, check. Sigh. All I could think to do was to persevere until bedtime. I ran the dogs, tidied the kitchen, fed the cows, let out the chickens, and prepared fruit and vegetables into freezer bags for quick smoothies later. And then I started to feel cranky tired. I could feel myself tanking but I couldn’t figure why. Pushing myself was backfiring. I conceded and stretched out on the couch in my room to rest.
“He will come to us like the spring rain that waters the earth.” This song from Hosea came to my mind. I’m resting. Window is open. The gentle rain is continuing to fall on our dry pastures and the newly seeded lawn. I feel like the wilting parsley I had just washed and put in the freezer. I need watering.
I think about my garden. The plant that is rooted in sand can thrive if it has frequent watering just like the plant rooted in rich loam but requires less watering. I have felt like I’m in sand. I drink in scripture, encouragement, love, joy, worship times, the presence of God, and then it’s gone. I feel fantastic and then in a moment, I’m completely fatigued. I’m at 40% and then I’m at a frustrating 2%. It’s not linear. It seems random.
As I rest on the couch, I consider this realization: I need the rain of God to water my soul more often; daily isn’t enough. Stop, sit, soak. In this season, I need to be ready to pause my activity, close my eyes, and hear the words of Jesus to my heart. This is absorbing Jesus into my wilting heart. This is recharging.