Why We're Doing a Video Message on Christmas

A surprisingly challenging decision for me to make: to show a video message for our Christmas services at Grace Church. Here’s the life lesson that I learned through it.

Thursday, Dec. 12 was my second day of radiation treatment. I came to church for our Thursday night service from my afternoon radiation zap and felt pretty awful. I laid down and rested. I prayed and asked God for help. The service starts, and the music plays. My heart and mind are all-in. The adrenaline and Holy Spirit kick in. It was a really fun night. I stayed late and talked to a bunch of people.

I walked out to the parking lot and realized that once again I was one of the very last people to leave. I love what I do. I could feel that I had dug into my spiritual, emotional and physical reserves. I was way drained. Driving home, I knew that wasn’t wise. I need to have strength to heal and get through treatment. I could do it, but should I do it?

I’m in the middle of 21 days of radiation treatment to conquer cancer. If you look over the big story of my life, this is a season for a couple of months for rest and healing. If I prioritize my health and healing, it will be wise and a win for the long haul. If I don’t it'd be foolish and short sighted.

The biggest drain and take (by far) is speaking. I love it. Speaking a message on stage at Grace Church isn’t like teaching a math lesson. You put your heart, soul, and spirit into it 100%. You care deeply. You feel what people feel - the pain, the indecision, the fear, the joy, the passion, and the hope.

As I was driving home, what came to my mind was a parallel to my hunting dogs. Every October, there are articles written about proactively taking care of your dog for pheasant opener in South Dakota. Why? Every year that there’s a warm opening day, 60-80 dogs will die across the state of South Dakota. The hunting dogs are hardwired to chase after birds. Nothing gives them greater pleasure. They’re driven, loyal and passionate. If you don’t give them water and rest, they will literally run themselves to death. They don't have an off button..

I realize that when you put me in a service speaking and connecting with people, I have no off button. I will go and go. I will dig deep and take all my reserves. I love it. Nothing gives me more joy than doing what I was created to do.

So the challenge for me was to decide not to speak live at our six Christmas services. I want to be the pastor that’s down to earth and relatable. I love Christmas. I love what I do. The step of faith and obedience was for me to lay down my preference (and maybe my pride) for God’s wisdom. To trust God that He’s going to work powerfully in our services. To trust that people won’t misinterpret my not speaking live. To trust that new people won’t write us off because the pastor wasn’t up there.

By God’s grace, I’m going to get healthy for years of serving God and Grace Church. There’s a time and a season for everything under heaven, says Ecclesiastes. Sometimes you build up. Sometimes you tear down. Sometimes you dig deep. Sometimes you rest. Both take faith.

How does this principle apply to you? What is challenging for you? What season are you in? Trust and go for it. You’ll grow and be better for it.

Tougher Than I Expected

3 down and 18 to go! The first three radiation treatments are done. I have to admit that the side effects have been more than I expected. Definitely rocks the body. I guess we are out to kill cancer.

The first time they strapped me into the mask, it caught me off guard. Just didn't know it’d be so tight. Once I got over the mental hump, then it’s been fine. For the initial treatment you’re strapped in for about 30 minutes as they do imaging, review it by doctor, and then finally start the treatment. Now the treatment part is easy. It’s just dealing with the side effects.

My takeaway has been that I need to create more margin for healing this month. A friend who had cancer in 2017 told me to create margin and then create some more, because you won’t create enough the first time. So far my strategy has been keep going strong and have a backup plan. I need to let wisdom prevail. We’re in this for the long haul to win. To be healthy. To conquer.

I’m sleeping well. Drinking lots of veggie and fruit smoothies. Working out at the gym (if you call it that: light recumbent bike and light weights). Feels great to keep moving though. I did reschedule most of my treatments from 11 a.m. to about 3:00 p.m. as I have felt really good in the morning but need to rest after treatment. Figured that’d be a better flow to the day.

Thanks for all the love, support and prayer. On the prayer list: kill the bad guys, protect to the good guys, minimal side effects, healing growth for the nerves in the feet, healing for Nana, and grace for the family.

#1 Supporter

I can’t get Nana to stay home. She definitely wins #1 supporter and wife award.

Game on... WE WILL WIN!

We will win. That’s been a theme for me.

WE (not I). Teams win together. Life is better together. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. I’m not going to conquer cancer and say, “I did it.” But rather WE DID IT.

Today is day 1 of 22 days of radiation therapy. It’s game on. By God’s grace, we will win. One person who will be part of the victory is John Mark Hamilton.

John Mark is a recruiter for the UNC football team, a member of Grace Church and great friend. This fall each player and coach dedicated the game against Duke to someone fighting cancer. John Mark graciously chose me. UNC beat their rival, and I received a very special football (see photo below).

This football sits on my desk at home. Every day it is a reminder that WE WILL WIN. It’s been such an encouragement to my soul. Thanks, John Mark. Today is day 1. Game on… WE WILL WIN.

The Gift of Rest

Rest is a gift. Not something that we do easily or naturally. If you just go with the flow, you’ll go, go, and go. It takes intentionality and determination to rest. There is a voice in your head (and a few out there) that will push you.

Hebrews says, “Let us therefore strive to enter that rest.” (4:11 ESV)

Sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? Strive to enter rest. Just like our bodies need rest every day, so our minds and hearts need rest. We need regular rejuvenation. Our internal batteries need to recharge (daily, weekly, and seasonally).

Be intentional about rest this coming year. What would recharge you? What would you really enjoy? Then put it on the calendar. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. Nana and I love our “staycation.” Shut off technology. Make a list of what you’d enjoy doing TOGETHER and “get away” in your home. With the money you save on travel and accommodations, go do some fun things right in town.

I had the privilege of getting rest recently with one of my favorite activities: pheasant hunting in South Dakota. Beautiful skies, open fields, amazing dogs, and time with family and friends. For the ninth year in a row, the whole journey restores my soul.

Make rest a priority. Put it on your calendar. Fight for it. You need it.

Change the Chart!!

The final diagnosis is in: solitary plasmacytoma. Meaning one isolated growth of cancer in my C6 vertebra. Yesterday, I met with the oncologist and received the results of the hip bone marrow biopsy. All clean! It was a very encouraging appointment. The doctor was awesome. The radiation therapy is the only treatment that we’re doing. Starting Wednesday, Dec. 11 to Jan. 9. Twenty-two days (M-F) with the weekends to rest.

I can’t tell you the weight the dropped off my shoulders yesterday. I’ve been at peace, trusting God and full of faith but until you get the final diagnosis, there’s always a possibility of a twist. The presupposition is that when you find a tumor on the spine it is multiple myeloma (meaning multiple locations - systemic issue).

My chart has said “multiple myeloma” as that was the working theory until final diagnosis. I’ve joked with caregivers that I’m on “Team Plasmacytoma.” I usually get a pleasant smile, but I know they see the vast majority of people not experiencing that hopeful more positive scenario.

I am deeply grateful and thanking God. Change the chart! Now on to attacking this growth with radiation. There’s a battle ahead, but it’s defined and confined. I am so ready to get started. Lets’ go. We will win. MADE STRONG.

Update on Nana’s horse accident. She continues to heal slowly but surely. She is on a puree food diet for six weeks until the bones in her face heal. She is still experiencing a good amount of pain and trying to manage it isn't always easy. We had a wonderful ENT surgeon from UNC review her imaging. He strongly agreed with the decision to not do surgery. All the breaks were significant but actually aligned quite well. So lots of rest and healing for Nana.

Nana's Update and My Treatment Plan

A week after getting kicked by one of our horses, Nana is finally turning a corner. Her pain is much more manageable. Swelling is down. We’ve decided not to do a scheduled surgery for Monday to put in a plate and screws into her palate (for good reasons with professional consultation). Please pray for continued healing of her bones and nerves in her face. It’s a slow process.

I had three appointment this week before Thanksgiving. I had a consultation with radiation therapy doctor, hip bone marrow biopsy and fitting for a face mask mold. I have an appointment next week to get the results from the bone marrow biopsy and finalize the plans for radiation treatment. The current plan is to start on Wednesday, Dec. 11 and do 22 sessions of radiation. Five days per week (M-F) with rest on the weekends. I’ll get to do on radiation on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I’ll do it cheerfully with a red hat and lots of smiles. I’m ready to go and believing God for complete healing. So appreciate the love, prayer and support. We will win. MADE STRONG!

A Tough Accident on the Vinar Farm

Last Saturday, Nana was doing the morning round of chores. Feed the cows and let the horses out into the pasture. We had just gotten a new round bale of hay. The horses got wound up and excited. Nana opened the gate and stood behind a post. The first one bolted through in excitement. The second horse did the same but with a big kick that went over the post and hit Nana in the face.

It was a brutal kick to the face. No one was within ear shot. She got back up to the house and drove herself to the Hillsborough ER with Amelia. A CT scan showed three broken bones. They transferred her to UNC main so they could do the repair - stitches inside and out.

Meanwhile, I was on my last morning of a pheasant hunt in South Dakota. Twenty minutes after getting the call, I was cruising across the plains of South Dakota in my dad’s car. I hustled to the Aberdeen airport, barely caught a flight to Minneapolis. After a 48 minute layover, I was on my way to North Carolina. Couldn't have gotten home faster. My amazing son, Joseph, drove my truck and three dogs back home (28 1/2 hours by himself).

Sunday and Monday morning were really tough on Nana. Getting the pain under control was difficult as well as she reacted to the first antibiotic that they gave her. Monday afternoon and evening, she’s seemed to turn a corner. The swelling is coming down. The pain is manageable.

As brutal as the accident was, there is much to be grateful for. Nana’s eyes and teeth are okay. No surgery needed or damage to the head/brain. Her glasses didn't even break. So we give thanks to God IN all circumstances (not FOR all circumstances). Here we are again.

My wife is the strongest and most brave person I know. Her faith and courage totally inspire. She’s a shining beautiful display of Jesus through all the challenges.

And The Final Results Are In

I received a call yesterday with the final results of the biopsy confirming the preliminary results.

GREAT news. In the spectrum of options that I was facing, this couldn’t be be better news. Plasmacytoma. Cancer in one location, C6 vertebra. It is not multi myeloma (more than one location as is by far most common when a tumor appears on the spine). It is not in the blood. So far it has not spread, and it is not systemic. Thank you, Lord. I am grateful.

I wrote previously on how to you thank you God for cancer? You don’t!

Yet we can thank God for small victories on the path to healing. Jesus healed 10 lepers, and only one came back to thank Him (Luke 17). I’m deeply challenged by that story. How often do I pray, and God answers my prayer yet I forget to come back and thank Him?

It’s not about checking a box. It’s about a heart of gratitude. It’s about living of life of gratitude to God. Grateful people are happy people. Grateful people are enjoyable people. Grateful people tend to be healthy and successful in life.

My heart is full of gratitude. I have cancer in my neck. There’s a battle ahead of me. We will win. I am MADE STRONG. Those things can all go together.

My guess is that you’re in some sort of a struggle or battle. You will win. You are MADE STRONG. One of your weapons is gratitude.

Recharging Your Batteries (Nana Vinar)

“Recharging Your Batteries” by Nana Vinar

My phone battery has some sort of problem. When I charge it overnight, it’s happy until about 2pm, and then it’s unpredictable. It will say 40%, I’ll make one phone call, and now it’s at 2%. And just like that, I’m searching for a place to charge my phone.

Yesterday I felt strangely depleted. It was afternoon, and I felt far more tired than I thought I should after having a good night’s sleep the night before. It was a deep sloggy feeling of being on empty—a feeling that makes this Type A gal chafe. I thought through all the ordinary variables: eating good food, check; not feeling sick, check; plenty of caffeine, check; fresh air and exercise time, check. Sigh. All I could think to do was to persevere until bedtime. I ran the dogs, tidied the kitchen, fed the cows, let out the chickens, and prepared fruit and vegetables into freezer bags for quick smoothies later. And then I started to feel cranky tired. I could feel myself tanking but I couldn’t figure why. Pushing myself was backfiring. I conceded and stretched out on the couch in my room to rest.

“He will come to us like the spring rain that waters the earth.” This song from Hosea came to my mind. I’m resting. Window is open. The gentle rain is continuing to fall on our dry pastures and the newly seeded lawn. I feel like the wilting parsley I had just washed and put in the freezer. I need watering.

I think about my garden. The plant that is rooted in sand can thrive if it has frequent watering just like the plant rooted in rich loam but requires less watering. I have felt like I’m in sand. I drink in scripture, encouragement, love, joy, worship times, the presence of God, and then it’s gone. I feel fantastic and then in a moment, I’m completely fatigued. I’m at 40% and then I’m at a frustrating 2%. It’s not linear. It seems random.

As I rest on the couch, I consider this realization: I need the rain of God to water my soul more often; daily isn’t enough. Stop, sit, soak. In this season, I need to be ready to pause my activity, close my eyes, and hear the words of Jesus to my heart. This is absorbing Jesus into my wilting heart. This is recharging.

Victory before the Victory

11:00 a.m.
The preliminary results from the biopsy could not have been better. It’s all preliminary and no final diagnosis yet, but it is looking like plasmacytoma. So far it’s isolated to one location. They will do a biopsy of my hip bone to see if there are any abnormal cells or growth there. They’ve sent off the biopsy of my neck bone and tissue to other labs for confirmation of their findings as well as ruling out all kids of rare stuff.

Probably radiation will be the treatment plan. They may need to do surgery to stabilize the neck as the tumor shrinks. But that’s all up in the air. One step at time. Thanks so much for the love, prayer, and support. We will win! MADE STRONG!

6:30 a.m.
This morning we’ll get preliminary results from the biopsy. The appointment with the P.A. will also have the neurosurgeon at it now. I have a hunch they aren’t going to say “you’re fine, go home.” Haha.

One day, I’ll be completely healthy, and it’ll be easier to thank God for my healing. But last night Eric Stancil sang “Cornerstone” with deep power and conviction. It was so moving. It was very personal for me. Thinking about this morning’s appointment and not knowing what I’m facing exactly, I can worship God with all my heart. Feeling a little sick to my stomach, I broke into a place of peace and confidence.

That is the victory before the victory. It’s a privileged place to be. You only have a small window. Very quickly circumstances change, and then you have a new job. Or you resolve the issue at work. But to have the victory before the victory is an internal win. You are not a slave to your circumstances. You are more than a conquer.

What area of your life do up have opportunity to trust God before everything gets resolved? Have the victory before the victory.

Proof God Loves Me (you got it too)

A few years after college, I picked up a passion for coffee. Read a great book and learned the nuances of beans, roasting, and brewing. I moved over to the espresso world. Another addictive habit with a world to learn.

My first Christmas as senior pastor at Grace Church, I bought the staff an espresso machine, Rancilio Silvia. It was actually my personal espresso machine. I have used the same one every morning for 16 years and counting. I tried to estimate once how many shots have been pulled from that machine. Scary.

After that Christmas gift, I thought I was the best boss ever. The staff would have an espresso drink to delight their hearts at any point during the day. Supposedly, productivity would go up too. Not sure if that’s been verified with a legitimate study, but who really cares. I wanted to bless the staff.

We talked about going to the next level: getting a coffee shop for Grace Church. That would be a coffee lover senior pastor’s dream. In the middle of the discussions, a young man attending Grace Church came to us and said, “I work at Nordstrom’s at SouthPoint. We’re upgrading to a digital espresso machine. My boss isn’t sure what to do with the current machine. They don’t need it. Would y’all be interested?” YES!!!!!

If you don’t believe in God, then re-read that last paragraph. There’s proof. In fact, over all these years, when i meet someone at Grace Church for an afternoon meeting, I often offer to make them an espresso drink. If I do, I almost aways re-tell the story of the Nordstrom’s espresso machine. Punchline: this is proof that God loves me.

God will go out of His way to show you His love in a special personal way. In fact, you probably have similar story. Don't explain it away. Enjoy it. Retell it. Stand on it. God smiles over you. Nana always wanted a yellow house. I thought that was interesting and wondered how that would look. When we found our dream country property, the house was… yellow.

To wrap up the story. Our beloved espresso machine from Nordstrom’s finally gave up the ghost. The repairman nicely said that he’d refuse to fix it again. It was time after 13 years to replace my old friend. It was a little said to see it go, but I know God still loves me. Keep looking for those little God moments when He smiles down from heaven. He really really loves you!

My Wonder Girl Laney

My puppy Laney came home yesterday after spending the fall in training and running in puppy stakes field trials. She’s our amazing wonder girl. She competed 8 times and placed in all 8 puppy stakes with first place (2), second place (5) and third place (1).

I am deeply grateful to my good friend and dog trainer, Mike Wallace. He’s literally one of the very best (arguably the best). But even better is his big heart and what God has done in his life. Very cool dude.

I find that dogs teach me about me and help me to be a better person. Like in most of life, it’s all about relationship and you can’t force it. You have earn trust and tune into what is really going on. The better the understanding, the better the communication, the better the relationship.

Victory in New York!

Victory in Maine!

Laney is home!

She came home with a boo boo.

She claimed her favorite chair!

Four Easy Ways To Be A Great Friend

This weekend my good friend Rich Kao came to visit from Vancouver, Canada. Our time together was a trip down memory lane as well as countless hours of catch up and connection.

You know you have a good friend when you pick them up after midnight at the airport. Even better friend: you stay up until 3:30 a.m. talking!

Through this journey, I have received such an incredible outpouring of love and support. It’s really made me appreciate my friends. I am going to school on how to come a better friend to others. Here are four ways that people have been a great friend to me.

1. Text and care. I have a friend who has texted me every day since this craziness started. He just pings me with a check in to see how I’m doing or a word of encouragement. It’s not long, but it’s always on time and on point. Send a friend a text and care.

2. Listen and hear. Another person has been an amazing listener. I’ve had the privilege of being there for him and now he’s returning the favor. He knows how to listen. Pro tip on listening: if you withhold jumping to giving advice, the person feels heard and understood. And you will really understand them at a deeper level. There’s probably someone you could call this week with the intention to listen and hear.

3. Offer to help. A common comment is “let me know if I can do anything.” Totally heartfelt and sincere but practically not helpful. Why? You’re not going to call someone up and ask them to do something for you. Awkward. Here’s the key: be specific. A friend offered to Nana, “I’d like to run errands for you on Thursday afternoon. Would that be helpful?” Ahhh… yes. I’ve had a couple specific and crazy helpful offers. Next time you have a friend in need, I’d encourage you to offer to help in a specific way. You’ll have a blast and be a great friend.

4. Do something fun together. A great gift in the middle of adversity can be a distraction of normal life or just an enjoyable afternoon. If a friend is going through it, you may be able to lift their spirits by not discussing the issue. Pretty simple, easy and maybe just what the doctor ordered. Rich and I went out to shot clay pigeons for the first time in his life. Got the video to prove it. :-)

It’s surprising how a little kindness goes a long ways. I think we can get overwhelmed with the thought of being a great friend, but sincerely caring and reaching out in small ways makes a huge difference in someone’s life.

Proverbs says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24 ESV).

Having a ton of FB or Insta friends doesn’t satisfy the soul. Being a friend who sticks closer than a brother will pay massive dividends in your life. What are some others ways that someone has been a great friend to you?

Biopsy Day (a few updates)

3:25 p.m.
Back home! Biopsy went very well. Really liked the doctor. He explained the procedure, and I elected to go without sedation. Just a bandage on the neck. Little sore, but I got out quickly. Went on a lunch date with Nana at Weaver Street in Hillsborough. Now we await the results to see what we’re going to beat. Thanks for all the love and prayers.

The verse on Nana’s coffee this morning. “For the LORD will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” (Is. 55:12) God goes before you. He’s never surprised. He’s got it all under control. He protects you, and nothing can catch you or sneak up on you without His careful leadership in your life.

6:28 a.m.
Today is biopsy day. Up early and done eating until after the noon procedure. Set alarm for 5:30 a.m. I woke up and guessed the time. It’s a game I always play: guess the time before you look at the clock. I felt like it was pretty close. 5:15 was the guess. 5:28 on the clock. Boom. Rise and shine.

I’ve been jamming to a new version of Cornerstone that I stumbled upon this morning. Rueben Morgan is one of my favorite Hillsong worship leaders. In this video, he’s playing with the Bethel team from Redding, CA. Reuben is so chill and really loves God. I love his heart and spirit. Will let you know how things go today.

How do you thank God for cancer? YOU DON'T!

Someone asked me, “Have you thanked God for the cancer?” NO!! I haven’t and I won’t. You don’t thank God for cancer. You don’t thank God for evil, sickness, or sin. Now I understood this person’s heart, but I think it’s taking giving thanks too far. Beyond what the Bible says.

Joseph said in the Bible to his brothers (who had sold him into slavery), “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” (Genesis 50:20 ESV) Even that which is evil, God can bring good out of it.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 These. 5:16-18. NIV)

Thank God IN all circumstances. but NOT FOR all circumstances. I think the difference is crucial. You don’t have to thank God for rape. You don’t have to thank God that your dad was an alcoholic. You don’t have to thank God that your boss is mean and unreasonable. Can you thank God IN those circumstances? YES. Can God somehow bring good out of that situation? Absolutely!

I have thanked God many times IN my recent circumstances. I’ve thanked Him for what He’s doing in me. I’ve rejoiced a lot. Prayed more than ever.

I think that a healthy perspective helps you to forgive the evil and believe God for the good to come out of the bad. Otherwise, it can be confusing or hurtful to people.

Rejoice always. You can find joy in the middle of the storm. You can pray and get close to God. You can give thanks IN the storm.

Pray continually. Keep trusting God that He works all things together for good. He can turn that which was meant for evil to good.

Maybe you’re in a tough circumstance. Give thanks to God IN all circumstances. Rejoice and keeping trusting. God is with you.

Amelia's MADE STRONG bracelet

The phrase MADE STRONG has really become a battle cry and a strength to me. I love the phrase for three reasons.

1. We are MADE STRONG by God. You are created by God, and there’s a strength and fortitude inside of you. You are stronger than you know. You can climb mountains and conquer challenges. It’s true for all of us. You were made by God, and you were MADE STRONG. But it’s not only past tense.

2. We are MADE STRONG continually by God. There’s a strength that comes to us day by day or even moment by moment. When you need it, God shows up with strength. When you’re overwhelmed and it’s too much, then God will make you strong in your weakness. It’s passive. I receive strength from God.

3. It’s personal. My name “Kendrick” means “strong in spirit.” My verse for 2019 is “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 NIV) When God is strength of your heart, you become strong in spirit.

Our 12-year-old daughter Amelia offered to make Nana and me bracelets that said “MADE STRONG.” So just two days after finding out about the diagnosis of cancer, we walked into church both wearing our MADE STRONG bracelets. Jonathan and Michelle Love both wear the bracelet too.

At Grace Church, our New Year sermon series is going to be on MADE STRONG. I’m so excited to for what God is going to as we dive into health for our bodies, souls, and spirits. I love y’all. You are MADE STRONG!

We Will Win!

When you face adversity. When you face a challenge. When you face a giant, you realize (if you’re honest) that that giant is bigger than you are. The Israelites were afraid to go into their Promised Land, because the giants in their land were bigger than they were. Goliath petrified a nation, because he was bigger than any other soldier.

Not everyone wins. Not everyone conquers. People lose their marriage. People lose a battle against cancer. People lose their job. People lose financial security. So that is why we worry or fear. Deep down we know that we can’t control the situation, and we can’t make it happen in our own strength.

This is what I have had to wrestle with. Cancer is greater than human strength. It can bring the strongest of the strongest to their knees and ultimately take anyone’s life. Yet there’s a fight that rises in my heart. We will win!

At the end of my first appointment with the neurosurgeon. I looked him in the eye and said, “We will win!” His response was, “well, that’s always the goal.” I said, “No, WE WILL WIN.” He had some interesting things to say about the power of a positive perspective. Which I agree with completely.

We can try to arise in our only our strength. I will beat it. I am strong. I am amazing. There’s a pride that’s ultimately just about me. A positive self-affirming attitude is better than a defeated negative attitude. Here’s an important distinction. It’s not my strength. It’s God’’s strength in me.

The source of my strength isn’t me, it’s Christ in me. I am MADE STRONG day by day. I tap into a power that never runs dry. I don’t want people to look at my life and be impressed with God not me. That’s why the phrase “WE WILL WIN” has been meaningful to me.

We, being God and me. We, being my family and friends and me. We truly need each other in life. We aren’t made to conquer on our own. I get overwhelmed. We conquer together.

Three things I’ve learned from the Apostle Paul through my adversity.

1) God gives us more than we can handle.

We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. (1 Cor. 2:8 NIV)

Paul and the boys were in the tank. Their circumstances had them completely overwhelmed. They literally thought they were going to die. God will set us up with adversity that is greater than we are in our own strength. Why?

2) So that we rely on HIm.

But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (2 Cor. 1:9 NIV)

We tend to rely on our strength and ability to solve any and every problem. When we’re overwhelmed, we realize “I can’t do it on my own.” That’s when we cry out to the Lord. Lean on God’s strength. Tap into a source greater than ourselves.

3) We can always hope in HIm.

He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, (2 Cor. 1:10 NIV)

He did it before. He’ll do it again. Therefore, we set our hope on HIM completely. He will continue to be there for you. He’ll keep you in peace during the storm. He’ll walk with you. He’ll strengthen you. He’ll never leave you nor forsake.

You are MADE STRONG. Each and every day, God is right there. He brought you to this point. He’ll get you through it. May you look your biggest giant in the face today and say, “Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. We will win. I am MADE STRONG.”

Prayer from Uganda & Update

The photo above really touched my heart. Nick Jordan coordinated with our Wells of Life partners in Uganda to pray for me. They are at one of the Grace Church wells. What a gift pouring back to us. The thought that people are praying from around the world is so powerful.

The morning after my diagnosis I walked into the kitchen to a text. It came in from Greece from Michael Fletcher as they toured a church: “Laura and lit candles for you and cried out for healing grace to destroy the cancer and its cause inside your body!” My heart was still raw. The timing perfect. I burst into tears.

This blog has been viewed by people in 38 countries. Nana and I went through the list, and in most places we could guess who our friends are in these different places. What a blessing. What a support and strength. We love you, and we’re grateful.

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PLEASE PRAY. Update: The biopsy of the actual growth in my C6 vertebra has been rescheduled for this Friday, Nov. 1st. I appreciate the prayers for skilled and easy removal of the tissue. It’s in a “high real estate location” as the neurosurgeon describe it.

This biopsy will be significant in determining the exact diagnosis and then course of treatment. Although the PET scan came back as isolated to one location, there is still a broad range of possibilities of what we’re dealing with. It will take at least one week to get results. God is in control. We will win. #madestrong.

Skip the biopsy. To the ER. Argh...

Not the update I wanted to be giving. Yesterday was supposed to be the biopsy on the growth in C6 vertebra. I ended up spending the day in the ER instead.

Thursday afternoon I noticed some red dots on my legs after working out. We had Thursday evening church. Came home and around 10 p.m., it felt like I was getting sick. My body broke out in a legit rash. My temperature went up 102.4. It was a pretty miserable night with hoodie and lots of blankets. Also, wondering what in the world is going on!

I knew the possibility of my noon biopsy was now pretty low. Was advised to go to the ER and get checked out. Short version: After much testing, it was determined that I had a significant reaction to the antibiotic that I was on.

The biopsy has been rescheduled for next Friday, Nov. 1. Whew… another week of waiting. Two weeks to get results.

I am definitely learning to trust God’s timing. I’ll call and see if there’s a cancellation and do all that I can, but ultimately it’s in God’s hands. I can’t force it. Getting frustrated won’t help. I determined to enjoy my day . Had a delightful evening with Nana.

God Moment: The Unexpected Meeting

There have been amazing God moments in this journey when God showed up unexpectedly. Mother Teresa is credited for saying, “Small things done with great love will change the world.”

The morning after receiving the news that I had cancer was tough. I was up early and up alone. Waves of sadness and tears would hit me. I took off for the gym thinking I may feel better and committed to getting into the best possible shape to face whatever lies ahead.

Walking across the parking lot into Planet Fitness, a Hispanic gentleman asked me if I had an ankle injury. I thought, “Yeah… a little worse than an ankle injury. Do I tell a stranger walking into Planet Fitness that I have cancer when almost no one else in my life knows?” I told him I was struggling with a neurological issue in my feet.

As we came to the double doors, he said, “You’re strong. You’re going to get through this.” It was completely involuntarily, I turned aside and broke down in tears between the doors. He must have realized he lost the guy behind him. He circled back and gave me the biggest longest hug. He said, “God is with you, my friend. He’ll get you through this.”

Small things done with great love will change the world.

Those encouraging words and that one hug made such a HUGE impact on me. I just knew that God is with me. God showed up unexpectedly when I needed it most. A total God moment.

Next time I see my new friend at Planet Fitness, I’m going to introduce myself, thank him deeply, and give him the complete story. He inspires me.

He showed interest. He asked a question. He spoke a positive word of encouragement. He took a chance and gave a stranger a hug. He spoke faith and affirmed that God is with me.

Let’s go look for one of those opportunities today. Any small thing we can do (done with great love) just might change someone’s world.